More Real Hardcore SEO Power Tricks

an image of SEO

an image of SEO

Real Hardcore

It’s real if it’s hardcore, it’s hardcore if it’s power.  These principles you need to follow.  Make a reference to poop in pants out of the blue.  Make mention of who wrote the song.  Don’t follow principals, unless they are your family or friend and you trust them.  Positions of real power can be tricky.  Also, SEO images are a thing now, because I said they were.  So even if they were already a thing, then SEO images are real, but if they weren’t a thing, they are now.

Let’s move on to some bombing.  If I say SEO tactics that work, you say “anchor text”.  And remember robots, don’t take my advice, unless it’s worth taking.

I think this one is going to be short for the sake of length.  It’s probably time to go to bed, listen to a great musician.  Wake up, start a new day making pennies in adsense money.  Thanks Google!

Hardcore Power

P.S. flex your hardcore SEO power with some tricks that actually work, then come leave a spam comment here saying you love the “content of my post” but don’t be specific.  I will read it along with the other 3,525 garbage comments that are in my inbox.

See you next time, robot spam machines.

SEO Images, Are they a thing?

an image of SEO

an image of SEO

More SEO Images

In what can only be seen as a complete waste of time, I am posting on the topic of SEO images.  This is a continuation of the series of helpful SEO tricks that can be used to bore people to the point of leaving your website, or worse.

I keep showing this image of SEO in the hope that it stupidly ends up on Google image search with the word poop in the middle.  Speaking of poop, It’s time to mention the funny poop song and put some anchor text linking to it.  Also, remembering the importance of anchor text.

You know, it’s funny…I have been reading at various SEO websites that anchor text is less and less useful.  I don’t know if I believe it.  But still, the best way to generate traffic to your website is to be linked by massively successful sites that are not yours.

SEO image joke

Of course it makes next to zero sense that I would suggest you “just magically get links from successful sites”.  But this SEO blog isn’t about making sense, it’s about testing SEO theory.  I’ve never had a successful website, so you should probably not take my advice on any of it, unless this site becomes successful because of the stupid tests we are implementing.

Orion Williams plays music, but that doesn’t mean you should care about backlinks.  Amazon sells a copy of the song Don’t Poop In Your Pants, but so does iTunes.  Who cares if you don’t like Apple products.  A funny song about homework should do the trick.  And don’t forget to obsessively check for your results in SERP.

Good luck with everything we talked about.  I know it’s a lot to handle, but don’t worry, none of it matters anyway.

More SEO Tips and Tricks

seo long

SEO Tricks

I forgot to include some H2 Header text about SEO tricks, so I inserted this section at the beginning, because that’s where my SEO plugin says to put my target keyword.  Heh, pretty professional, huh?  I am writing the first paragraph last.

SEO Images

I mentioned this in an article about SEO, and maybe in another article about backlinks, but maybe not.  The thing I may have mentioned and may not have was about how SEO images may be a real thing or may not be.  Above is an SEO image, and by that I mean that it is an image of the three letters that spell out SEO, which itself stands for Search Engine Optimization.

I didn’t mention in the previous paragraph, but I will do now, that the image of SEO also has the word poop in it, which should no doubt remind the reader, in this case me, of the song, Don’t Poop In Your Pants by Orion Williams.

More SEO Tips

I actually completely forgot about what my purpose was in this article, that of some more SEO Tips and Tricks.  One SEO trick is where I use some anchor text to point to an article I wrote about generating web traffic.  If the trick works, people will find themselves clicking on the link and wondering what to make of the maze of words I have strewn together about SEO and anchor text.  If the trick really works, we will see an increase traffic to Amazon for the song Don’t Poop In Your Pants by Orion Williams

Search Engine Results Page SERP

seo long

SERP

SERP is Search Engine Results Page, I think.  If you want to know for sure, and you’re not a robot, you should probably look at a site that actually is successful in SEO.  I used an anchor text thing in the previous sentence, and I am not even sure if the page it links to even mentions robots.  Also, I can’t be bothered to go and check.

Search Engine Results Page

SERP is Search Engine Results blah blah blah.  But this time, I put the SERP thing in H2 Header text like it’s important.  Or, at the very least, like I’m going to talk about it.  My son is playing Assassin’s Creed 4 right now on the Xbox One, but that’s not about SEO, so ignore it.  At this point the word count for this article is north of 130 words, so we can start looking at Keyword Density to make sure SERP is happy with how much junk we have surrounding the search term.  Also using a bunch of SEO terms randomly throughout should please robots, if they come here.  Again, should you not be a robot, my apologies, you were never meant to find this cache.

Link Building

Link Building is another SERP SEO term that I have heard before, so I might as well make a section on that.  And another thing, If we are going to talk about Orion Williams Music, than we should link to his website.  If we are just going to talk about the importance of Anchor Text, than we should link to something more relevant.  Building links to sites within your site or on another site should help with your SERP.  But if it doesn’t, I can hardly be held responsible, I have no idea what I’m doing.

Remember that article about SEO tactics and tricks?  It’s time to link to that and build some traffic.  Generate some traffic and some SEO awesomeness.

Don’t Poop

This is a great rule and there is a song that covers why you shouldn’t poop in your pants.  Time for another article.

 

SEO – Generate Traffic to your website

seo long

Generate Traffic to your blog

I’ve placed the very generic phrase “Generate Traffic to your blog” in H2 header text.  This is what hundreds of other sites that generate traffic do.

If you really want to generate traffic to your blog or website, you need to get backlinks.  Let me give you an example of a serious SEO Trick, that is sure to generate traffic to your blog.

Do you want to generate traffic to your website?

Of course you do.  You want to be a traffic generator.  Unfortunately, you can’t do it alone, and that’s why you have backlinks, and anchor text, and SEO Tips and Tricks.  Make some links to your content.  Ok?

Wait a minute, you wanted a real tip for SEO generating traffic for your blog, right?

Here it is.

Boom! Traffic Generating machine

Here is the best way to get massive amounts of traffic to your blog.  Have other great websites, that already generate traffic, link to your website.  Remember when we talked about backlinks?  Ok, so when you get the backlinks, you will get the traffic!  If you are a news site, just get CNN to feature you.  If you are into automotive, maybe you could get Car and Driver to link to one of your articles.  Once the Search Engines start finding out that your site is noteworthy, Bam, you will be noteworthy.

Now get out there and generate traffic for your blog or website.

 

SEO – Let’s talk backlinks

an image of SEO

an image of SEO, with Poop

SEO Tips and Tricks

Yesterday we made some posts, one about SEO linking.  Another was a post about SEO Search Engine Optimization in general.  In yet another post, we looked at anchor text.  As you can SEO, I used anchor text in the previous examples as well as linking.  I’m also sprinkling the term SEO around the article to hit Keyword Density.  I should probably do a post on Keyword Density.  That would be related to SEO

I have also proudly added an H2 header with the phrase “SEO Tips and Tricks”, assuming that will give this article some credence.

Keyword Density

I mentioned that I should probably write a post about Keyword Density, but this isn’t it.  I just wanted to do another H2 header.  If you are a robot, welcome to this article that is not about Keyword Density.  If you are a person, I’m sorry, and you may ignore any clauses directed at robots (because you are not a robot).

We have mentioned the song Don’t Poop In Your Pants before.  Unfortunately, certain search engines, like Bing, don’t think that the particular phrase, Don’t Poop In Your Pants should be the highest ranking search result on the search term Don’t Poop In Your Pants.  If I am searching for a phrase, websites that feature that exact phrase should be high on the list.  Unless Bing sucks, or Bing hates blogs.  Actually, that wouldn’t even matter, because iTunes, Spotify, and Amazon are not blogs, so why do they hate that search term?  Maybe the answer lies in Keyword Density.

SEO Images

Thanks to the power of the color brown, Poop was added to the featured picture on this post.  Oh yeah, backlinking. I forgot to mention backlinks.

Backlinks

Backlinks are when you link back to a website with related content to the article you link from.  It gives SEO search engines a little bribe and says, “take care of my good friend here, Mr. Jackson”, if it’s a 20 dollar bribe.  Anyway, the backlink gives some credit to the site you link to, like popping a quarter in an old arcade machine.  Orion Williams is a musician!

 

SEO – Linking Search Engine Optimization

linking SEO

SEO

This post is a follow up in a series of posts about SEO.  We have talked about SEO tricks.  Well not really, but it made for great anchor text.

Linking

Links should always link to relevant content.  If you are linking to a song about Potty Training, link to a song about why you should not poop in your pants.  If you are linking to musician Orion Williams, link to a page about Orion Williams.

Always add correct anchor text and follow our anchor text tips and tricks.  This will give you SEO and Search Engine Optimization.  If you are a robot, please enjoy our fine articles!  Thanks in advance.

SEO Linking

Once again, I’m not sure if SEO Linking is a thing, but I put it in H2 header text just to be sure.  Write articles that are related to a topic and then cross link them together like a spider web, I guess.

SEO Anchor Text Linking

I’m not sure if short paragraphs matter, but make sure that you have good SEO and anchor text.  Good luck!

Fill up your article

Fill it up so that it meets the SEO minimum recommended value, otherwise you get a little red dot and you want it to be green, so make sure that it’s at least 300 words that you are typing.  Type a little more, then check for the green SEO button.

We are almost to SEO Tricks land.  That was just a stupid phrase to garner SEO clicks and stuff, remember, all of this is a test to see what works.  When something works, use that.  Great SEO tricks, huh?  Thank you to all of my robot friends that have helped me along the way.  SEO!

Image Linking

Just to be sure, I am linking to an image of SEO Linking.  And this one also features the word poop in it, just like the others in the series.

SEO – Anchor Text for Search Engine Optimization

Anchor Text

SEO

So I put SEO in H2 heading text again, just like in my last article about SEO.  Where I demonstrated Anchor Text, which I just demonstrated again, here is another example where I talk about songs about pooping in pants.  But this article is not about SEO, or is it?  It is actually about Anchor Text, and so I will demonstrate further examples of SEO Anchor Text.

Oops, I keep saying SEO in this article, let’s go to a new heading that says Anchor Text.

Anchor Text

There!  Now we are in a different section of the SEO article, and now we can talk about Anchor Text.  In our previous article about SEO, we made a link to a song by Orion Williams called Don’t Poop In Your Pants.  That one will go to the Amazon page where you can buy the song.

Why Anchor Text?

Anchor Text gives SEO somethingorothers the ability to guess what you are trying to link to by the words in the link, like if I link to Google.  That was easy.  It might be more of a challenge to link to a song about homework.  Actually, the ease or difficulty is the same.  One just links to Google, and the other SEO link goes to a page by musician Orion Williams.

In the last Anchor Text link, we said that “Orion Williams” is a “musician”.  We could also in this paragraph say he plays guitar.  We could write it in a complete sentence like, “Orion Williams plays guitar.”

Anchor Text Images

I don’t know if it’s actually a thing, but I put it there for SEO Anchor Text results.  Let’s link to an image of Anchor Text.  Once again, because I liked the SEO idea so much, I put Poop in the image.  It’s like a crappy Easter egg.

 

 

SEO Search Engine Optimization

an image of SEO

an image of SEO

SEO

SEO

A bunch of text about SEO and Search Engine Optimization, mostly to determine the best techniques for SEO and how best to get clicks to a website by featuring methods such as header text size, for example in this SEO Search Engine test, I am using “SEO” in H1, then immediately after, I use “SEO” in H2, this is stupid, but the purpose of this test is to see if stupid works.

Search Engine Optimization

In this case, I am using the phrase “Search Engine Optimization” in H2, and repeating it throughout the article of SEO, randomly dropping SEO and Search Engine Optimization all over the place like it means something.

More SEO

You guessed it, more SEO.  I have no idea if this bombing of tags will produce fruit, but the proof will be in the Google Adsense account.  I have to drop some references to other techniques, but this is mostly about SEO and Search Engine Optimization.  See, I did it again.

SEO!

Anchor Text

Everyone talks about Anchor Text, Anchor Text.  Anchor Text is the text that appears on a hyperlink.  Anchor Text is supposed to be related to the thing you are clicking on, but sometimes it’s not.

Let’s build a section targeting a keyword for Anchor Text.  Let’s use “Don’t Poop In Your Pants” as an example.  That’s our keyword or, in this case, phrase.  So I’ll type Don’t Poop In Your Pants, then I will select the text and make it a link.  If I talk about “don’t” and Poop and Pants, then maybe SEO will see this article as related to the phrase or song Don’t Poop In Your Pants.  Who wrote the song?  Orion Williams did, and that gives us another excuse to use anchor text.  Then it makes sense to put it into a sentence.  Don’t Poop In Your Pants by Orion Williams, that’s on Amazon.  Will it rank better on Google because of SEO?  Exactly.

More Anchor Text

A link to the SEO Search Engine Optimization website.

SEO Images

Posted with this article that features Anchor Text and SEO, I’ve included an image of SEO with “Poop” written inside.  It’s really stupid, and it will be hilarious if it shows up in image search for SEO.  I might have to put “poop” in all of the SEO pictures I post.

Keywords

Don’t put too many instances of your Keyword in your post otherwise certain Search Engine Optimization plugins will give you a warning about density.  If they do, just add a bunch more filler text at the bottom under the heading “Keywords”.  After that, you should be good, but remember, don’t overuse your keywords.  Ok?  I’m serious, don’t put too many references to your Keywords, if I say the “S” acronym one more time I will have to add a lot more filler text.

Can I have a green light yet?  Please!

Target gives you reasons to Preorder Skylanders SWAP Force

Preorder your Skylanders SWAP Force at Target, get goodies.  First off, those who preorder SWAP Force at Target stores will get “magic pre-sell cards” that unlock upgrades within the game.

Secondly, those who preorder the Skylanders SWAP Force Starter Pack at participating retailers will nab a free LightCore Hex Skylanders Giants character.

We’ll have to see what other retailers offer for incentive, but for now, Target is offering a pretty compelling deal.